read. or at least come up to me and be like, “wow that was a great read”

“Death makes me very angry.” —Larry Ellison, Oracle founder

“It’s 4:56 a.m. on the day this column is due. I think I’ve achieved some sort of singularity. There’s no longer any lifeboat. There are no longer any people. A cruise ship keels to one side in a windless Caribbean dawn. It has been retrofitted as an office building. The directory lists 2,000 names. I walk down the tilted hallway feeling queasy from watching videos about liquid vitrification. I enter an office. In the corner is a leather chair shaped like a giant baseball glove. Next to it sits an IV pole holding a bag filled with dimes. I lower myself into the chair and decide to check the weather on my phone but everywhere is Cupertino, California.”


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